Martyr – Have you ever heard of the burning martyr?
I have been writing about the 8 Money Types. Today is the turn of the Martyr.
I love using the Money Types to help people understand their behaviour and emotions around money. There are 8 money fictional characters, who all think VERY differently about money.
The Martyr is in the spotlight in this blog.. I wonder if you or someone you know will relate to the Martyr story I am about to tell? I wonder if your Martyr will show up in the MoneyType Quiz?
Ok, so (drum roll…) welcome to ………the Martyr!
The Martyr’s money characteristics are:
- PCritical and judgmental
I could smell my dear friend Sally well before she came into the room! Have you ever heard of the burning Martyr? A martyr is someone who dies for a cause – Joan of Ark was burnt at the stake remember?
Bless Sally, she was exhausted almost all of the time. She was either rushing around “helping others out” or moaning that she was doing everything for everyone, but nobody did anything for her in return!
She moved between two distinctly different energies; one that looks to be in control and is controlling of others and the other that feels wounded like a very needy child.
She loved the MLM (multi level marketing) business model and ran a profitable business recruiting people to sell beauty products. She was great at going out and meeting new people and was quick to try and recruit new found friends onto her team. She was especially good at describing the business as a brilliant way of making money to those who had fallen on hard times. She was passionate about her products and was practiced and expert at the motivational “join up” speech.
She was compassionate and would certainly be described as an empath. She listened to people’s money troubles and was very sympathetic to their woes. She felt that she could lend the helping hand they needed and was happy to suggest them becoming one of her team as they could make great money which would solve all their problems. All great stuff.
The trouble was that they did not have the money to invest in the initial kit or stock. It was then that Sally offered to let them “borrow” it for a while, saying that they could pay her back as soon as they had sold the items lent, which of course would be sold for a good profit. She was so happy to help. The recipient was happy too – at that moment.
Sally would call me and tell me the story of how she gave such-and-such a fantastic opportunity, only to be let down. She told me of her disappointment and that she couldn’t believe how someone would not leap at such a brilliant chance to make money and solve their problems.
Again, and again Sally did not get her money back as she expected. Her new team members sat on the product without trying to sell it. They blamed Sally for getting them involved in something that they weren’t very interested in and that they were too busy and too tired to sell the stuff.
She became cross, and disappointed. You see Sally was an excellent salesperson – but not great at noticing whether that was the talent of the people she helped.
She finally learnt that she was trying to help out people that simply did not want to be helped! Her new recruits were far too willing to replay their misery story of woe than take the action needed to launch a new business, and Sally’s stock lay idle, unpaid for in someone else’s house!
After a good few occasions of her helping others out and failing to get her money back I introduced her to the Martyr money type, I also introduced her to the Victim (that is coming in the next episode!), and she belly laughed. “That is me! Totally me! But why am I like this?” she asked.
Sally told me that she spent most of her childhood looking after her siblings and helping her mum out after her father died suddenly. She was a giver through and through – but it had become all out of balance. As the oldest child she took on the responsibility of needing to help Mum out in every way. She put her needs to one side and found herself giving so much and became unable to receive.
We talked about the loss of her dad and she saw that it was time to release the suffering she still had over the family’s loss. She realised that she did not need to control all around her and that people could find their own way – then she could spend time on self-love, which was much needed! We worked on establishing boundaries for her. She began being able to receive without feeling uncomfortable – compliments, the odd coffee etc.
She felt much happier bringing balance and self-love into her life. She was less exhausted and trouble free and was not chasing people for money or feeling let down when people fell short of her expectations. She continued to build her team by spotting people with potential to do well rather than rescue those who were too involved in their life of drama.
So that is the Martyr money type. Sound familiar? Now find out more about you and money by taking the Money Type Quiz on my website. It will give you a snap shot of which Money Types are showing up for you right now.
Remember, when you get the results, know that the Money Types are not WHO you are, but WHERE you are. We all have ALL the money types within us – and we can CHANGE how we are with money – but it all starts with awareness.
We can’t change what we don’t know, so give it a go and then book in a free 30 minute chat with me to talk about the results.
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