Tyrant – Who are you hard on?
I have been running a series of these blogs to tell you about the 8 Money Types that I work with in my coaching business. The 8 Money Types offers a simple way to identify and evaluate our relationship with money. With this understanding you can then learn how to make conscious money choices which results in you being MUCH better with money on every level.
Last time I told you the story of Tom, who identified with the Innocent money type. The Innocent is the money child, the type that seeks rescue and takes the ostrich approach with money.
This time, I am going to introduce you to a very different money type. The Tyrant.
Interestingly of all the eight Money Types, the one least likely to show up for money coaching is the Tyrant. This is usually because the Tyrant does not believe that money coaching would be of any help to them as they are already brilliant at looking after their money, may have plenty of it and consider themselves the leader in their money environment.
We see Tyrants amongst political leaders, business people and family figureheads. They use whatever is needed to win and are often ruthless.
Characteristics of the tyrant are:
- PProne to anger
- PCritical and Judgmental
- PHighly Materialistic
They are also secretive, have a scarcity mentality believing that their power is finite, and their ultimate fear is to lose all they have – including their money.
The Tyrant sounds pretty terrifying doesn’t it?
The interesting thing about the money types, though is the variance in ways that they show up. Probably every reader who has read this far, may have encountered the Tyrant at some point, but are also likely to be thinking that they show no signs of it themselves.
So today I am going to tell you the story of Jo, well the Tyrant part of it. I am doing this because as readers of this blog, you are keen to become financially successful – nothing wrong with that. But the point I want to make is for you to realise that money is not the be all and end all, and to be careful how much importance you place on the goal to be rich, and what you do to achieve it.
Jo’s mum inherited a large sum of money not long after Jo’s older sister was born. She loved to spend, buying cars and houses. She had traits of the Innocent money type, having no interest in looking after her money. Her dad was a saver and a make-doer. Not a great combination! Money arguments led to divorce.
The marriage to husband No.2 was doomed from the start. To get the kids out of the house Jo’s mum packed them off to boarding school. Jo left home at 7 believing she was wealthy but was soon to feel like a pauper, as her school mates all had MUCH more money than she did. She said it felt very weird and that it battered her confidence and self-worth. She felt small for three years.
Husband number three was Jo’s mum’s bank manager – the supposed financial rescuer. The coffers were by no means bare, but they were considerably down due to mum’s spending. The trouble was that a year into the marriage he fell foul to a gangster blackmailer who relieved them of all but £76. They were broke. The marriage was over. Jo was 10, had to leave boarding school and joined the free school meal queue at the local comprehensive. The big house went, and they moved into a small damp cottage. Jo wasn’t grateful for what she had, she felt angry and resentful towards her mum and the bank manager.
She decided that she would never be beholden to anyone for money and that she would become a millionaire. She saved as much money as she could whenever she could. Her money management skills were basic but eventually her net worth statement showed the seventh digit. She was elated – for about 2 minutes. She told her, disinterested (Innocent money type), husband that they were millionaires and he replied, “well it has nothing to do with me”. Silence. There were no bells ringing or flags waving in celebration. She felt as though her world had come crashing down. Money had actually made them miserable – even though they had had great holidays etc there was a feeling of oppression in the marriage.
She realised that, during all those years she had focussed purely on money – believing it would be the thing that secured their happiness. Her fear had been of losing it all, like her mum, so her answer was to build a wall of money/power around her. She made all the financial decisions in the house. She controlled and manipulated the household cash. Her husband felt inadequate money wise and felt that whatever he earned, it was never enough. Jo knew something needed to change.
She found the Money Coaching Institute and her coach helped her to find her Magician, the money type of faith, trust and balance and kick her Tyrant into touch. Her money started to flow, in and out. Couples money coaching helped her to see that happiness comes from within and brought joy back to her marriage. She is still married and lives happily spending, but also building wealth. Money coaching saved her and her husband. She loved the work so much she trained to be a money coach – oh, and she is not really called Jo! I wonder if you can guess who she really is?
Find out who is your leading money type by taking the Money Type Quiz and book in for a free money type consult too.