Victim – Do you find money a struggle?
I have been writing about the eight Money Types that I work with in my capacity as a money coach.
Money – we are all assumed to be good at “it” but for many of us everything about money is a struggle – earning it, keeping it, talking about it – even thinking about it.
Money can make us bloody miserable and mostly, we don’t know why. I hear “I am rubbish at money” more times than I can count and that makes me sad, because NONE of us are, or need to be rubbish with money.
My job is to help people see that they can be excellent and happy money managers, who can go on to great things, wealth, whatever they like. So, I invite my clients to go on THEIR financial adventure. It is always a journey of fun and tears, but also always worthwhile with great results. If you would like to know more about financial adventures drop me a line.
I had intended to write this blog post a while back but failed to. Let me tell you why I failed to get this written in the time frame I had want to. (Deep breath – here we go….)
Well, I had all good intentions of writing but then my monitor broke down. I had to take it in to the shop to try and get it fixed and they told me that it would take two days. Two days later, I had a bit of a headache and my daughter had to be off school, so I couldn’t get to the shop – and anyway it wasn’t ready. I thought about writing it with a pen and paper and started but then my husband sat his wet coffee mug on it and I found it hard to read. It has been a nightmare – really.
Really? REALLY? Ok so if I told you that today’s piece is all about the Victim? Yep, that was my Victim Money Type coming out to play – lots of lovely excuses showing up whilst feeling good and proper sorry for myself!
I love using the Money Types to help people understand their behaviour and emotions around money and life generally. There are 8 fictional money characters, who all think and behave VERY differently around money.
We ALL have the Victim within us – the trick is keeping them at bay. But to do that we need to understand who our Victim is, and what their story is.
The Victim’s (money) characteristics are:
- PProne to blaming others
- PFinancially irresponsible
- PSeeks to be rescued
- PLives in the past
- PSeeks to be rescued
- PFeels powerless
- PHighly Emotional
- PLives out a self-fulfilling prophecy
I had a client who had had a very difficult childhood. It really was. He told me the story over and over. He would have told me more times but, as the coach, I stopped him and changed track.
Victim money types, indeed Victim types generally, are prone to living in the past and blaming their sufferings – financial or other, on anything else but themselves.
They can often express their feelings in indirect ways – passive aggressively. You know – they can smile and throw you under a bus and then get you to apologise for it!
Example: “Oh great – thanks, I was meant to be here at 10 to buy the last one of XX at sale price – but because I am late, you got it first. Thanks a lot!”
The Victim archetype sometimes gets mistaken for the Innocent money type because they seem powerless and appear to want others to look after them. But in reality, it is likely to be a conscious or subconscious ploy to get others to do for them what they won’t do for themselves.
Full of excuses as to why they are not more successful, healthy, wealthy – all based on tales that are probably based in historical mythology.
Like I said earlier, they may well have had hard times – betrayal, abused or have suffered some great loss. The problem lies in them not having processed their pain. They are still living it – and it turns on them. Always looking for rescue, they believe they have suffered way too long and far beyond enough. The sense of entitlement is carried like battle scars. Now they want a reward.
The big track change comes in understanding and healing their wounds. As their past history is often much more interesting than their present, the Victim can be hugely resistant to change but when that is lifted, they finally unlock the door to their potential. As the main fear is betrayal, it is quite ironic that Victims don’t see that their biggest betrayer is themselves!
When Victims find the key to free the locks of their past, they are able to move fully into the life they are supposed to live. Now using their past experiences for good, they have great capacity for love, compassion and understanding which are all the qualities of the Magician – the money type we would all like to have running our money show.
Any of that sound familiar?
I wonder if your Victim will show up in the MoneyType Quiz on my website? It only takes 5 mins and is fun (works best on pc/laptop – not phone).
We can’t change what we don’t know, so give it a go and then book in a free 30 minute chat with me to talk about the results by ticking the box at the bottom of the quiz.
Remember, when you get the results in your inbox, know that the Money Types are not WHO you are, but WHERE you are. We all have ALL the money types within us – and we can CHANGE how we are with money – but it all starts with awareness.